Missing
by Axarsh
Summary: When Ed is stuck on the other side of the Gate, his mind wanders. What will his thoughts lead our favorite blonde alchemist to do? And how will Mustang respond? //Song Fic/Mentions of shounen-ai/minor language/ooc/character death\\


**Author's Notes:** -hides behind blast shield- I know I should be working on Anything for You, Nuits, and my fic I haven't even posted…..but this has been in my head for….forever!!!! I was slightly inspired to do this after reading hanyou-elf's Because I Love You (READ THIS FIC AND LISTEN TO LITHIUM by Evanescence AT THE SAME TIME!!!), and I've been craving to write a death/angst/whatever fic…Don't look at me like that!!! Okay, to the story! Oh, by the way, the italics that are CENTERED are song lyrics. (If it's not centered, it's a thought or flashback.) Oh…and this is un-beta'd…So blame me for any errors!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA, but I own this fic! HA!

**Pairing!: **RoyEd

**Warnings:** SPOILERS, character death, OOC, cursing, shounen-ai

**Song that inspired this one-shot:** Evanescence's 'Missing'

* * *

**Missing**

* * *

How long had it been since Edward Elric had sacrificed himself to return his brother's soul to his body? How long since Ed himself had laughed that care-free laugh that seemed to make everyone smile? Or yelled at someone for mocking his height? 

_Please, please, forgive me…_

These were the questions that seventeen year old Edward Elric was trying to answer. The blonde was sitting on his bed in Munich, Germany, while the rest of the city slept soundly. A lone dog barked outside of his window, and was quickly followed by a cat meowing loudly. Ed could only guess how late it was, but he really didn't care.

He didn't care about anything anymore. His family was gone, his skills in alchemy were worthless, and day by day the blonde was getting more depressed.

Golden hued eyes closed, and Edward tried to remember the faces of the ones he had lost. Winry, Auntie Pinako, the faces began flooding his mind. Teacher's face, stern yet caring. A younger Al, before his soul was incased in its metallic prison. And his mom's warm smile.

Ed sighed, knowing he was in for a night of memories; just like so many nights before.

It started out relatively easy. Reading alchemy books with Al at night. His first transmutation. Playing with Winry and Al as children.

Then the memories started darkening. The human transmutation that threw himself and Al into the hellish life they lived today. Automail surgery. His State Alchemist Exams; and being accepted into the military. The memories were playing like a movie in his head, unstoppable, and it was barely any time at all before Ed was reliving his death.

Ed chuckled dryly, finding sick humor in the fact that he could live to tell about himself dieing.

But that was behind him; as was everything else that happened during his life in Amestris.

Edward sighed, throwing himself backwards on his bed. His gaze glued to the ceiling, the blonde reached his arms upwards, as if his fingers could reach the top of his room.

The material of his white sleep-shirt fell down both of his arms, revealing both the faux and natural flesh of the limbs. The skin of his right arm was slightly paler than the left, and it was unscathed. But, his left arm, his _real_ arm, was scarred; harsh red lines making a steady decent down the tan flesh.

_But I won't be home again…_

The young man forgot exactly when he had started cutting himself. He remembered experimenting in Amestris, due to stress in the military. But now…now it was a habit. A terrible and damned habit.

Golden eyes flickered to the open window across the room, then to the small work desk resting beneath it. A small razor blade glinted in the moonlight, deadly and hypnotizing. Edward willed himself not to get up.

_It's actually funny._ He couldn't help but think as he subconsciously sat up._This cutting used to be an experiment. Then… Then Mustang found out and told-no, begged- me to stop. But now-_

Ed groaned and fell back once more onto the bet. Unwanted memories of himself and the elder man, although happier memories compared to the ones he had just ran through, pushing themselves into he mind's eye.

_Ed laughed, grinning widely as he adjusted his seat in Roy Mustang's lap. His red robe fanned behind him, reaching half-way down his lover's legs. _

_Roy and Ed had been an item from some time now, maybe a year or two. They knew the consequences if their relationship was to be publicized. Two males was one thing. Office relationships were another. But, an officer and his male subordinate, both in the military? Well…it wouldn't be good._

_The raven haired Colonel smiled, pulling the short blonde into a tight embrace. "We're going to have to make noise soon," Roy whispered into Ed's ear. "Or everyone will get suspicious."_

_In reply, Edward smirked. Molten gold eyes met glistening onyx, and then Ed rocked his hips sensually. "Well, Colonel," he purred, his face merely an inch away from Roy's own. "How much noise?"_

_When Riza Hawkeye passed the Colonel's office to insure that Roy and Fullmetal hadn't killed each other, she was confused as to the sounds resonating from behind the closed door. A thought flashed in the woman's mind, and then she shook her head…_

…_They must have been fighting._

That had been when Edward was sixteen, just before the homunculi made his life a living hell.

_Maybe someday, you'll look up…_

Again, golden eyes looked towards the razor. Again, Edward tried to resist the urge to grab the tool and slice to his heart's content. And, once again, Roy's face, a reassuring smile gracing his normally stoic features, came into his mind's eye.

Then, something popped into Ed's mind, out of the blue. Through the year or two that he and Roy had been 'official', only Ed had said 'I love you'. Roy had never said it to the blonde. He might have smiled and kissed him chastely, or said "Ditto." But never had he uttered the phrase itself.

Tears burned at the back of the teen's eyes, blurring his vision.

Outstretching his arms, as if the razorblade would fly into his hand, Edward pleaded inwardly for it all to end. Not only was he separated from everyone who loved him, but now the man who he was _in_ love with might not even love him at all?

_There's no point_, Edward came to that conclusion quickly. _No point at all. Besides, they'll never know if I'm dead._ The young man nodded grimly._They all probably think I'm dead anyway. They've moved on with their lives…_

Moved on with their lives… An image of Roy with a new lover flashed in Edward's mind. As if the thought itself was a knife, a horrible pain tore at the blonde's heart. And with the phantom pain still residing in his chest, Edward stood to grab the blade that might very well end his suffering…forever.

_And barely conscious, you'll say to no one…_

But before Ed could reach the razor, a rush of dizziness overtook him. Disorientated, he cursed lack of sleep and food. A black cloud was slowly fogging his vision; although it wasn't unwelcome.

"Maybe just a nap," he murmured. "Then I can-"

He never finished the sentence, because now he couldn't see through the black fog. Edward never felt his body fall to the ground, but he faintly heard the thump that accompanied a body colliding with the wooden floor.

_Isn't something missing?_

But even in sleep, Edward was tormented. Usually, his dreams consisted of memories. Although, in this one…

He was back in Amestris, now seventeen years of age. Al was walking beside him, chatting animatedly and trying to tie back his hair at the same time.

Edward could have smiled, everything was back to normal, and Al had his body back. That was, until Al asked him a question.

"Hey, Brother. Are you going to the wedding?"

Edward raised a curious eyebrow. "Who's wedding?" He couldn't help but ask.

Al looked confused, and then he chuckled. "I thought I told you!" He exclaimed. At Ed's look of confusion, he continued. "Colonel Mustang and some new State Alchemist! They're getting married today!" He tapped a finger to his chin, "Come to think of it, I never heard her name..."

The boy shrugged and grinned, but Ed stopped, a look of sheer horror on his face.

Then time zoomed forward, as it tends to do in dreams.

Somehow, Edward found himself at the wedding; and close to the front, no doubt. But, the need to leave overtook him, and he stood to go.

He would have made it, had not the happy groom himself spotted the fleeing blonde.

_You won't cry for my absence, I know…_

Roy was in the customary tux, and his hair was reasonably groomed. A wide grin was plastered on his face, as if he'd never been this happy.

_He probably hasn't_, Edward thought bitterly.

"Ed! I'm so happy you could come!" Mustang's tone actually frightened Ed. The happiness in the man's voice seemed to be dripping enthusiasm, and it made Edward want to cry.

"I didn't expect you to come, actually," Roy continued thoughtfully, oblivious to the tortured look slowly forming on the blonde's face. "Honestly, with all the work you've been doing lately; I wouldn't blame you."

Edward was close to excusing himself, but Roy just _had_ to continue.

"I swear, Ed. This girl is the one for me. I don't know how I've lived without her. It's like," Roy sighed happily. "Like I've been dead, and with her…I'm actually _alive_ now."

Edward blanched, and tears welled in his eyes. Those were the _exact_ words that Roy had spoken soon after they got together.

He wanted to leave. Oh, how he wanted to leave this retched place! But an unseen force was pushing him back into his seat.

The blonde forced a smile, hoping it didn't come over as a cold and murderous one. Then, choking down a sob and excusing himself, he reluctantly returned to his chair.

It seemed to take forever for the retched bride to walk down the aisle to be bonded forever as Mrs. Roy Mustang. Edward didn't bother to look at her face, content with shadowing his eyes with his bangs. He looked up one time, pleadingly, at Roy; begging him to remember _them_, and not _her_.

Roy looked back with a confused expression.

_You forgot me long ago…_

If that hadn't torn at Edward's heart, then when the vows started… Damn bloody torture.

It was sickening, in a way. Roy talking to his veiled bride who he thought was 'perfect for him'. Ed choked down a sob, and he heard his brother giggle.

_He probably thinks I'm trying not to cry because of happiness. _Ed thought coldly, as a tear escaped his eye. _He thinks that-_

"In sickness and in health."

The vow cut through the young man's thoughts, bringing Edward back into the sick dream reality. Regular vows followed this one, and the Roy added his own little twist to the exchange.

_Am I that unimportant?_

"All of my past loves are unimportant." Roy's black eyes were glistening as he spoke.

His bride seemed confused, but then she giggled.

_Am I so insignificant?_

"And all past lovers are insignificant," she replied.

The priest smiled happily. Then his face grew stony and he asked _the_ question.

"Does anyone oppose-?"

Before he could finish the sentence, though, Edward leaped from his seat, although nobody noticed. Nobody but Roy. The priest continued speaking, while Edward screamed. The yelling fell only on Roy's ears; all others seemed to be deaf.

_Isn't something missing?_

"Damn it, Roy!" Ed started, unchecked tears flowing freely down his face. "I've been gone for barely a year and you go off and _marry?!_ I've missed you so much, and you don't care?!"

The blonde pointed to his own chest, and he continued yelling.

"You kept a part of my heart, Roy Mustang! And it _hurts_." Edward's voice wavered, and his tone dropped to a whimper like whisper.

"How can I hurt so much, and you don't care?" Watery golden eyes met indifferent onyx ones.

_Isn't someone missing me?_

"Don't you miss me?" Edward's question was almost inaudible.

Roy snorted, brushing past still people. Ed half-noticed that everyone but the two of them had frozen. The thought vanished as Roy's face neared his own. Vaguely, Edward thought that Roy was going to hold him tightly and whisper reassuring nothings in his ear. The thought made him wearily smile.

But Roy's sneer proved him wrong. The black haired man didn't question the blonde's smile or the hopeful, pleading look in his eyes. Instead, he asked:

"Does my having your love hurt that much, Edward?"

Edward looked down, nodding feebly.

"Then you can have it back. I sure as hell don't want it."

Edward blanched, and then gasped. "W-what?"

"You heard me, Fullmetal."

Viciously, the blonde shook his head, willing away a fresh stream of tears.

"I…"

"No." Edward feebly whispered, tears obscuring his vision.

"…Don't…"

"Please!" The younger shook his head again, sending sparkling tears flying.

"…Love…"

Edward didn't speak. Instead, he clutched the fabric of his shirt weakly. Each word coming from Roy's mouth was like a stab to his heart.

"…You."

Edward moaned, as if shot. He shook his head, his blonde ponytail flying about.

"It's not true…It's not true," he murmured, hugging his own body and sobbing. He looked up once, willing Roy to be lying. But the last thing he remembered was a cruel smirk on his now ex-lover's face, and then he vaguely noticed a gloved hand slapping his face to the side, although he couldn't feel it… And then the dream ended.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice, _

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me…_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

* * *

**Central Headquarters: Amestris**

One year. One year of wishing. One year of hoping. One year of pain.

_Please, please forgive me…_

Dawn was approaching, and the light pink rays made the white curtains of the darkened room take on a rosy color. Central Headquarters was empty at this hour, sans one black haired Brigadier General.

Roy Mustang groaned, instinctively burying his head into the crook of one of his arms. He had fallen asleep on his desk for what seemed the hundredth time, but it didn't bother him too much. It _had_ been a year since Roy had slept on anything other than a chair or couch. He couldn't bring himself to sleep in his own bed, not when memories of Edward still rested there.

The sound of a door opening and laughter interrupted his thoughts. Too tired to greet whoever it was, the man feigned sleep, willing his breathing to slow. A knock on his door announced someone there; and upon not getting an answer, the person walked in.

Roy groaned inwardly, only two people entered his office without permission. One of these people wasn't on Roy's side of the Gate anymore, though.

Riza Hawkeye sighed deeply and frowned. This was the fifth time in a row that Roy had refused to go home after work. It worried her, seeing her friend so heartbroken. Roy was practically her brother, and seeing him so worked up over Ed…

Vaguely, she wondered if anyone but her knew that it wasn't long nights of paperwork that made Roy stay at work to sleep. But guilt, misery, and a heartbroken emptiness did.

"Roy," she said quietly, nudging the man's shoulder. Her reply was an agitated groan.

"Get up, Roy," she said. "You're on vacation as of right now, so get off your ass and get home."

Roy stirred slightly, and then settled in a more comfortable position. "Can't go home," he groaned, and Hawkeye frowned sadly.

"I know," she said in an almost mother-like tone. "But try. Ed wouldn't want to see you like this…" She felt Roy's shoulders stiffen, and she continued. "You know that. So…so go home and get some sleep."

Slowly, in no hurry to leave, Roy stood. Riza smiled reassuringly, opening the door as Roy pulled on his overcoat. She knew if she looked the man in the eye, she would just be even more saddened. The one visible eye would be bloodshot and seemingly lifeless and shadowy bags would be under it. More than likely, the eye patch that covered a good portion of the left side of Roy's face would be askew; revealing harsh white scarring from a year before.

During her thinking, Roy had disappeared, and the Lieutenant hoped he would just go home; and not try anything drastic.

_But I won't be home again…_

Roy didn't want to go home. No, he _couldn't_ go home. The apartment where he stored food and clothing was just that, an area for storage. There was no life in it, just memories.

Roy knew that if he didn't go home, then Riza would more than likely pull out one of her guns on him, but he didn't really care. Any physical pain would be better than the emotional pain he had been going through for the better part of a year.

Lots of people had doubted that Edward was actually alive on the other side of the Gate. It seemed that only Roy, Alphonse, and a few more actually believed it. But, as the year progressed, less and less people believed; until it seemed that it was only Roy. Some had already held a funeral for the Fullmetal Alchemist, claiming that if he wasn't back by now, he never would be.

Just thinking of the people that doubted the fact that Edward, _his_ Edward, was alive, pissed Roy off beyond recognition. He took a quick turn down a side road, entering a pub. He glared at the smoke filled room, before sitting heavily in one of the bar-stools.

Wary glances were thrown in his general direction; many of the people in this pub weren't used to anyone from the military, a Brigadier General nonetheless, being in their joint. Ignoring these glances, Roy sighed and ordered himself some whiskey. The bartender didn't react at first, still confused as to why an officer would be here. But he started moving when Roy growled out his request again, albeit in a colder tone.

The amber liquid was offered after a few moments, and Roy took the glass with a nod. He sighed deeply as the alcohol burned his throat, instantly filling his body with warmth. The glass was quickly downed, and then followed by another. The process of drinking and refilling continued until Roy's vision was slightly blurry and his thinking process wasn't as sharp as usual.

_I know what you do to yourself…_

"Another one," he slurred out, waving his hand limply at the bartender.

"I don't think so, man. You've drank enough for tonight. Just go home!" The bartender replied, making dismissive motions with his hands.

"Don't wanna go," Roy slurred out, trying to coax the small amount of whiskey left in his cup into his mouth. "One more, that's it..."

The bartender shook his head, "No way. Just leave and go home."

Roy tried to glare at the man, but gave up when all he received were more dismissive motions. He dug some money out of his pockets after a few tries, before slamming it on the bar and stumbling outside.

It had started to rain, making Roy's attitude worse. He was slumped over, his eyes unfocused as the glared at the ground. Nobody was going to make him go to his apartment; he'd just go back to work. Yeah, that sounded good.

He continued walking, his shoes making a scuffing sound on the wet concrete. A sad smile was on his face, as he reminisced on the day barely a week before Ed had…had left.

_Roy smiled contently as he looked at the blonde alchemist sitting near him, wondering how he had ever gotten this lucky. Edward had come over to his apartment, telling Alphonse that he had to go over a report that he had failed to turn in. As of now, Ed was sitting beside him; cuddled up against his side and lazily drawing circles on his chest. _

_A few candles flickered on the coffee table in front of them, creating jumping shadows on both of the men. Ed's hair seemed to glow in the light, and his eyes, although half-lidded, were soft, yet wild. Roy hugged the blonde closer, his smile widening slightly at the blonde's startled squeak._

"_You must be thinking of something important to have zoned out that much," Roy murmured, kissing the blonde on the forehead. "You want to share?"_

_Ed blushed; unaware that he had been so in-depth with his thoughts. He looked up at his black-haired lover, his eyes showing slight apprehensiveness. _

"_Er…Roy. Have you ever thought about…commitment?" The blonde asked, averting his gaze in an uncharacteristic sign of shyness._

_Roy looked quizzically at the younger, before he smiled reassuringly. "Of course I have, Ed. I'm committed to you, aren't I?" _

_The other shook his head, "Not just like our relationship, with the secrecy. I mean…" Ed took a deep breath as if to strengthen himself. "I mean, like marriage."_

_Roy coughed lightly, before responding. "Marriage, Ed?" He honestly thought that Edward was joking, but after seeing the sheer determination in those golden orbs, Roy knew that he was serious. "Are you sure?"_

_Ed nodded, "I'm positive," he replied in a murmur. He began a light trail of kisses to Roy's lips, smiling serenely. "I think that would be the best thing ever. You, me, bonded as one." _

_Roy's smile softened, and he vaguely wondered when Ed had gotten slightly poetic. "Well, when you put it that way…" He claimed Ed's lips with his own, and then pulled away after a few moments. "…commitment doesn't sound that bad." _

_His reply was a light laugh, and he grinned at Edward. If marriage meant everyday could be spent like this, then Roy wanted to know how soon the wedding was…_

Roy gazed sadly at the ground, trying to place where he was. Subconsciously, he had directed himself back to his apartment, and he knew it was futile to bother going all the way back to Headquarters. The roll of thunder was ominous in the sky, seemingly urging the man inside of the building. He sighed deeply, slowly fishing out his keys and entering the dark apartment.

Dust had accumulated everywhere; Roy hadn't bothered with dusting for some time now. Gingerly stepping further into the room and shedding his overcoat, Roy sat on the couch, content with the darkness around him.

Everything was how it had been when Ed left; paperwork strewn everywhere, a few articles of clothing on the floor, and candles on the coffee table. Roy pulled a matchbook out of his pocket, not wanting to use alchemy at such a time, lighting each of the candles in turn. Maybe, if he closed his eyes and wished hard enough, he could imagine it was just another day at home with Edward.

Roy clenched his eyes shut, hoping for just that. He could imagine it; the smaller blonde curled up beside him, his breath slow and relaxed as he slept. Cautiously, Roy opened his eyes, as if Ed would still be there.

When a single onyx eye was opened, Roy gaze didn't meet the blonde hair of Edward. Instead, it was drawn to a small velvet box. The black material covering the box was grayed with dust, having not been touched in so long. Roy had sworn to himself that he wouldn't open it until Edward himself could see what was inside. But, with the high chance of Ed staying on the other side of the Gate…

…Roy inwardly scolded himself for thinking so pessimistically. Ed _was_ alive, and he_was_ coming back; there was no questioning that.

He glanced back at the box, sighing deeply before tenderly picking it up, as if it were the most fragile thing in Amestris.

Opening the velvet container revealed a ring of the silver metal called automail. It was polished to an almost heavenly shine, and the candle-light made it seem to glow even more. A small diamond was inlaid in the metal, flanked by intricate designs. If one were to remove the ring from its place and gaze at the inside, they would be met with words.

Roy didn't have to remove the piece of jewelry to know what was written inside of it. The flowing script, although small, spelt out almost the very words that he had spoken to Edward when they had first started going out.

_I'm alive now._

The man had had the ring constructed by none other than Winry Rockbell; although when she had made it, he had not revealed the reason why. At first, she had complained that her mechanic skills shouldn't be lowered to such petty skills as making a ring and adorning it. But, she had worked hard and the end product was gorgeous.

The only reason that the ring wasn't as upscale as most engagement rings was because Roy knew that if he presented Edward with a giant gem on a delicate band, he would more than likely complain about how Roy was always treating him like a girl.

Seeing the ring made Roy think. Not reminiscing, actual thinking on how he could return Ed to his side of the Gate. Human Transmutation was out of the question; Roy couldn't imagine seeing his lover as a heap of nothing but organs and twisted flesh. The man searched his mind for a transmutation circle that would enable safe passage to the other side…but came up with nothing that would return Ed to him.

That's when it hit him. If he couldn't bring Edward to him, he'd go to Ed. It seemed like such a brilliant plan; and, with renewed vigor, rushed to his bookshelves to find a book on the transmutation.

After finding the correct book, which seemed to take no time at all, Roy rested it on a table, turned to the page involving the Gate. He quickly skimmed over it, reading to himself the requirements for the transmutation. There were no sacrifices listed, it was common sense that his own body would be used to open the Gate and pass through (hopefully) without a hitch. Continuing his skim, Roy looked at a small footnote in tiny print. It was a theory of some alchemist from many years ago, an anonymous one at that.

Be warned. Every transmutation involves the death of a human on the other side. 

Roy shrugged the note off, not really caring as of now if some person on the other side of the Gate died…as long as he was with Edward again.

Grabbing some chalk from a table nearby, Roy commenced in drawing the transmutation circle. Once the array was completed, the man took the time to write a small note, to anyone that would find him.

_I guess…if you find this, and I'm not here…I'm with Ed. And, I'm happy._

_--Roy_

After he placed the note beneath the glowing candles, he gently slid the now closed velvet box into his pocket.

Content with all of his preparations, Roy kneeled beside the array he had drawn. He hadn't even touched the chalk lines before a curious tingle began in his fingertips, spreading like electricity through his body. With that, the man slammed his hands onto the circle, and what seemed like a fierce electric shock had ran through him. Alchemic energy was flashing about him, and all but one of the candles was snuffed out.

Then, a horrible contorting feeling took over Roy, seeming to stretch and shrink his skin.

_I breathe deep and cry out…_

A huge doorway stood before Roy now, a giant eye engraved upon its center. He was no longer in his apartment, for everything around him was a white mist; except the door. Roy gazed intently at it, knowing that this was the Gate. Was Ed really on the other side of this door? Was it that easy?

_Isn't something missing?_

Not wanting to hesitate any longer, Roy took a tentative step forward. Reaching out a hand to push at the door, he was surprised when the Gate opened on its own accord.

What seemed like hundreds of violet hued eyes gazed widely at him from within the black abyss. Startled, Roy stepped backwards, but was too slow as tiny black arm-like tentacles wrapped about him and pulled him in.

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_Even though I'm the sacrifice, _

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me…_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

* * *

**Munich, Germany**

Ed groaned wearily as he awoke, rubbing his head dazedly from where he had hit the floor. Tiredly, he wiped at his eyes, noting that he had been crying freely throughout his dream…no, nightmare.

For a moment, Edward forgot what he had been doing before he passed out. The glint of the razor a few feet away from him, however, jogged his memory. With a sad smile, he walked forward and reached for the blade as if it were a long-lost friend. Finally, his hand made contact with the cool metal, and as Edward brought the blade to his flesh, he pondered.

_Is this really what I want?_ He thought vaguely, _Do I _really_ want to die?_ He nodded grimly, as if that would conclude it all. With a practiced movement, Edward flicked the blade in his hand to where the sharp metal was near the flesh of his left arm.

The initial tearing of the skin always stung a little bit, but Edward had gotten used to it. A single ruby of blood appeared where the blade had bitten through the blonde's skin; but it gradually grew bigger and stronger as Ed dragged the blade shallowly down his arm, making a vertical decent to the crook of his arm.

The metallic scent of blood grew stronger as the wound began bleeding with more vigor, and it dawned on Ed that he wanted to die outside, not confined in a room where the scent of his own blood would be the last thing he remembered.

Hastily and none-to-neatly, he wrapped a spare shirt around his arm to stem the flow for the time being. The cut was shallow, yes, but eventually he would bleed himself into unconsciousness. On his way out, he grabbed a piece of paper from his bedside table.

For once, Ed was grateful that he lived on the top floor of the apartment complex, which meant the roof entrance was practically outside of his door. He staggered up the stairs in a daze, finally making it out into the cool night air. Dragging his legs, he made his way to the edge of the roof, gazing half-heartedly at the miniscule lights dotted throughout the city.

The now stained shirt fell to the ground as Ed removed his grip on it; and as another idea formed in his mind, a single blood drop splattered onto the cement as the young man hoisted himself up onto the roof's railing with his prosthetic arm. He swayed precariously as he stood sighed deeply.

With his fake arm, Ed toyed with a silver locket that hung around his neck. He hadn't bothered with it for the whole year he had been in Germany; but he knew if he opened it he would only cry. Inside would be two heart-shaped windows. One would hold a picture of Roy, a carefree smile plastered on his face. The other would have himself, blushing profusely at Roy's actions.

Edward's flesh arm held weakly to the paper he had grabbed on the way out of his apartment, but he dare not look at it. He had created it shortly before he had died, and he had never been able to show it to Roy.

The pain was slowly building in his arm, as blood began dripping in a steady motion from his body to the Earth far below him.

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed…_

Roy's vision had left him when he was transported through the Gate. But, once the sense returned to him, he looked at his surroundings.

It was dark, probably night-time, and the light of the moon outside wavered as clouds passed over it. In the back of his mind, Roy noticed that he was dressed differently, but he didn't take much mind to it as he examined the doorway he stood before. The soft whisper of a night breeze symbolized that the door probably lead outside and, with hopes of finding Edward, Roy opened it and stepped through.

He stepped out onto a cement roof, with the night sky dark and cloudy overhead. At first, Roy saw nothing of interest, until he noticed a short blonde man standing on the railing and…talking to himself?

Quietly, Roy stepped forward, not daring to talk for fear that it might startle the other into falling off of the roof. His heart was racing in his chest; the sheer possibility that this blonde might be Edward made him almost smile.

Finally, he was close enough to catch what the other was saying, and yet far enough away to not be noticed.

"M-maybe I shouldn't…" the voice was without a doubt Ed's, and Roy's smile widened.

"He'll find me, won't he?" The blonde's voice then lowered. "No, he's gone off with another. He's married that other woman and he's happy. He doesn't remember me…he doesn't…"

_Knowing you don't care…_

The other's voice trailed off into a hushed sob, and Roy noticed Edward's head lower, as if examining the drop below him.

What was all of this talk about him being with another? Roy had sworn to Ed that they would be together for eternity…that Ed was his life. Why would his lover start doubting him? Did he not know that Roy was standing behind him, waiting to take him in with open arms and a lover's embrace?

Onyx eyes roamed over Ed's body while Roy was in thought. Edward had grown taller, and lost whatever baby fat he had had before he…left. With widened eyes, Roy noticed the blood dripping steadily from the blonde's left arm. Tears formed in his eyes, and began a trek down his face as he whispered into the air.

"E-edward…"

As if hearing his name broke the trance Ed had been in, he wheeled around on his heel, gazing wide-eyed at Roy. He shook his head viciously, and then, as if in slow motion…

…his foot slipped from beneath him, effectively throwing Ed off balance. Maybe, if the blood-loss hadn't weakened him, he might have caught himself…but he didn't. Edward's body gracefully arced into thin air, and before he started falling, he said with a choked sob and wide eyes.

"I'm dreaming…"

_And if I sleep—just to dream of you…_

And with that, Edward began his plummet towards the unforgiving ground below him. His blonde hair whipped around his face, and his eyes closed.

Roy had raced to the railing as soon as Edward had slipped, but as soon as he got to the edge of the roof; his blonde lover had already started falling.

With tears now streaming freely down his normally stoic face, Roy sprinted through the still open doorway. As he raced down the stairways, his feet barely touching the steps below him, he began hoping.

Maybe…maybe he'd get there in time to catch Ed before…before.

Roy ignored the voice in his head saying that it was illogical. The mass of the human body would effectively cause it to fall much faster than Roy could run down flights of stairs.

Adrenaline was fueling his legs as he finally burst through the entrance doors and onto the main road. And what he saw made him run faster.

Edward had probably just landed, because the scarlet pool of blood had not accumulated much. Roy raced to his side, landing on his knees beside his lover and cradling his head in his lap.

"Ed…E-edward…" his words had been hushed by sobs.

Ed seemed to have a few breaths left, for he smiled weakly, and his eyes opened.

_I'll wake without you there…_

"R…..roy…" Ed's voice was strained, barely audible.

Roy stroked the blonde's cheek, tears falling onto his hand as he sobbed openly.

"I…love you," Edward smiled weakly once more, and then a misty veil began to dim his golden eyes as the eyelids lowered.

"Edward! No, no…_Edward!!_ Don't leave me… I love you so much, don't leave!!" Roy knew his yelling was futile, and he pulled the blonde's corpse closer to himself, tears now dropping onto his lover's placid face. "_Please_…"

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't something…_

* * *

Roy continued sobbing, begging the blonde to return to him. Then, as if punched, a vision flashed in his mind. 

Be warned. Every transmutation involves the death of a human on the other side. 

The lone visible eye widened, and new tears began. It was _his_ fault. Roy…he…

Roy shook his head,_It's not my fault…it can't be…_

…he had killed Edward while doing his transmutation.

A paper slowly fluttered down to the man, landing gracefully on Ed's chest.

It was a letter, written in Edward's scrawled handwriting.

_Roy,_

_I've been talking with Winry about a wedding. Y'know, a really nice one that can be in Risembool. Don't you think that would be awesome? A wedding on the country-side. You're family can come, and so can every one of our friends!! Maybe Elysia can be a flower girl! I don't know, we'll have to talk about it when I get back in Central. Well, I have to go now, the train's about to stop and I want to mail this to you as soon as possible!_

_All my Love,_

_Edward_

Roy's lips were now drawn together in a tight frown, attempting not to cry out anymore. Because, at the bottom of the letter, was a P.S.

_I'm sorry, but I got Winry to tell me about the ring… I couldn't help it! It sounds so beautiful; I'll be sure to act REALLY excited when you propose, okay? I may sound like a girl, but think about it…a WEDDING!! I can't wait… Mr. Edward Mustang…doesn't that sound nice?_

Roy choked on a sob, and brought out the velvet box. Gently, he removed the ring and slowly slid it onto Ed's left ring finger…

"It sounds so nice Ed…I just wish you were here to hear it…"

He leaned down, kissing the blonde's now cold cheek. He could feel the blood seeping through his pants, but he didn't care. He was going to stay here with Ed…

Mr. Edward Mustang.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice, _

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me…_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

* * *

On the other side of the Gate, in Amestris, a single candle succumbed to the will of gravity. It fell onto the coffee table it resided on, landing on a short letter. Its flame began to char the white sheet, only seeming to burn a single portion before somehow extinguishing. 

And, I'm happy.

* * *

**Ending AN:** And there you have it! Took me forever, but I'm actually proud of it. Well, kind of. But whatever (the end coulda been better o-0)…Umm, about the whole transmutation, I know that someone would have to die BEFORE the transmutation took place, but I warped that…no flaming. And…with Roy on the other side of the Gate, I he just magically got in front of the door, kay? And finally, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING AS MUCH AS IT TORTURED ME TO WRITE IT!!!!!! lol ...Oh, and my friend pointed this out to me soon after I finished this. Roy's whole drunk episode -sheepish chuckle-...he's a smart drunk...and the Gate made him sober!!! ...yeah...I'm gonna leave now

R&R!!! (No flames!) Reviewers get tissues and chocolate.

--Axarsh


End file.
